My Favorite Fembots. What Women Want.

26Apr09

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I have FOUND LIFE.  There are others like me. I will begin a club, wave a freak flag high. Since we Fembot Aliens are Time-Travelers, your earthly constructs may go haywire here as I jump all over your culture, but suffice to say, that’s a good thing…it will wake you out of your time-drugged coma.  

We don’t arrive in waves, we never left;-).

What is A Fembot?  Why should one inspire to be one or care? The question “What is Woman?” has been asked since your first obsessed apey, a bit hairy and grimy kid fingers have scratched out penthouse etchings of her rolling hips into groovilicious cave wallpaper.  Like a virgin, some ten thousands of earth years later, kids, I’m here to tell ya…even now, you have just scratched the proverbial universal surface.

Alien brides, helpful good little witch side-kick wives, genie sex-goddesses emerging from a good rubbing, sexy zipless Fly-Me, cocktail-proffering stewardesses and steely, morphing robots…here are some of My Favorite Fembots…a look into the fantasies of Earth Men and Gals and the key to What Women Want on this Paradise of Earth and beyond.

BOTTLED FEMBOT EROTICA ON THE TUBE OR THE GOOD WITCHES TRAVEL THE GALAXY TO BE BY A MAN’S SIDE.

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I admit.  I Heart Dr. Who. I Heart Tom Baker.  I Heart Dr. Who’s “feisty young air hostess” waylaid from her regularly scheduled London to Singapore route to pal around ridiculous and dangerous planets with the Doctor.  Janet Fielding, played by actress Tegan Jovanka, was a brat but she persisted even when the Doctor’s nemesis, The Master, turned her aunt into a Barbie doll sitting forlorn on the suddenly vast Scottish-plaid upholstered front car seat of her Vega.  She was ever pert and became one of the Doctor’s companions for several seasons whilst rockin’ very cool interstellar eighties get-ups.

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I Dream of Jeannie starring Barbara Eden, was the culture’s “Back-To-Business-Get A-Military-Job-Salaryman” bottling of the 60’s exotica into the yawns and lawns of Suburbia. How to incorporate Woodstock into a pair of Slacks?  Jeannie answered these enigmatic questions for her man as she emerged from her pink genitalic lair to play wife to her “Master”, Larry Hagman.

PREFERENCE. POWERFUL WITCH OR BOTTLE BLOND HOUSEWIFE?

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Another Bewitched Salaryman.  More bottled and aproned Power. ”Here’s a woman with unimaginable magical power, and she uses it entirely to shore up her husband’s ego, make him look good, help him keep his job, beat down his enemies,” complained science fiction writer Isaac Asimov, his own nose twitching over the show.

Here are some more “recent” sister bots.  OK, ho-hum, more brides, steely robots and time travelers…but this time they have seized the dashboards of their own UFOs and are steering their own ships.  For fun, they fall into the hands of the right man…way less Salarymen…and themselves become Muses to Men in all their power…men with universal To-Do lists like Korben Dallas, Dr. Who and even Jack Donaghy.

FEMBOT INTER-PLANETARY BRIDES OFF THE DAMN RECORD.

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The Fifth Element’s Leeloo, speaks!  Ditching The Divine Language, she escapes her makers again and tells it like it is.  “I think that’s one of the only reasons God created celebrities. To help those who can’t help themselves.” Milla Jovovich

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More Star Wars. Tina Fey aka Princess Lea aka She Who Writes The Script Now.  “And I don’t really think it’s fair for me to be on a jury because I’m a hologram.”  

LUST ME IN A SCULPTURE, KISS ME IN A CAST, I AM AN ART GROUPIE FEMBOT.

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“The women appear to be happy because they’re cyborgs, not real women.” 

Artist, Mariko Mori is a Favorite Fembot because she knows she can be a Feministica, a Hipster Buddah and a Fembot…(why oh why didn’t I land in her body vs. Chelsea Nicole’s stripper bod ?)

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And for many days she was a golden corpse in a clear coffin laid out by the pyramids just to be Art. Devoted Nuns…this girl trumps you.  Earth Ladies!  Please!  More of This! Do It!

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INTERSTELLAR STEELY FEMBOTS MAKE MUSE-IC FOR CORPORATE MADMEN.

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Svedka vodka girl is everywhere these days slinging more slogans than a Kenneth Cole loafer.

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I loves the Lavazza calendar girls, they impel me to travel to the icy Ile of Lesbos and lust for and lap up coffee as if it was a sacred Earth drug, a Mayan ambrosia…

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Fembot Grace Jones (edging towards 60 years, sans one trace of the false fembot tool, botox) is finally properly updated from her JP Goode Art Groupie 80’s angles into spooky and kooky morphing in Corporate Cannibal.   

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What is Woman and What The Hell Does She Want???  She is Fembot, she is forever unfathomable. She is Art. What Do Women Want?  To be seen and enjoyed for their endless spectrum of possibilities and creativity.  As an alien, I can tell you gals, much more is in store, much more is in the genie bottle for rubbing and making magic… you have only just begun. (Yes, I am shamelessly hawking my up and coming;-) book…Iti’s Tantric Time Travel Guideagain.)

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Fembot Grace Jones said it best in My Favorite Fembot, time-traveling anthem, “Art Groupie.”

I’ll never write my memoirs,

There’s nothing in my book,

The only way you see me an Art Groupie,

I’m hooked.

Some people like to be used,
I’ve been used and amused,
But that’s the way I see me,
My Art Groupie look.

Love me in a picture,
Kiss me in a cast,
Touch me in a sculpture,
Whisper in my mask.

Don’t ask me any questions,
My personal life is a bore,
Admire me in glory,
An Art Groupie. That’s all.

Love me in a picture,
Kiss me in a cast,
Touch me in a sculpture,
Whisper in my mask.

I’ll never write my memoirs,
There’s nothing in my book,
The only way you see me an Art Groupie,
I’m hooked.

(OK, Hurry Up Grace, the songs almost over.  But still buy my book.)  Yes, clever readers will hear the “The Walk” lyrics from The Time reference;-) Ciao for now, Love…American Style, Iti.

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2 Responses to “My Favorite Fembots. What Women Want.”

  1. 1 moni-Love

    Brilliant fun! Woodstock in a pair of slacks…oh yes, Master!

  2. 2 Kristina

    i’ve found my home! we are the same. i am an alien.


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