The Sol in Your Spacesuit


The Alien’s Monthly PMS where she rants on Celebs Rockin’ Their Chakras.

80s-man-in-the-mirror2 The Alien has been baffled and pouting in her designer vibrating light spacesuit this past month and now has finally seen the light on this day, The Solar Eclipse of July 21. All last month….she stared into the blue mirror glow of the computer screen, galactically bored to reincarnation by the entertainment world in June.

The death of a star, The Man in The Mirror, pushed all other juicy superfluous celeb news off the map this June moon…did you notice? The Alien can’t even find her mocking tone for the insipid, badly dressed or chakra-knockin’ celebritis among the icons of the day.

Death doth bring forth the pious and positive.

…and I guess that means I don’t get to mock Perez Hilton for his bedside morality tear-jerker, gossip jaws-a-poppin confession, (wish it were streaming with white angry squiggles) aka “My Statement” video of last month. 

…nor raise my thin n’ edgy Alien eyebrows over cheatin’ Gosselin’s gay girlfriend knoodlin’ premiere to their Hardy and Wholesome, Nuff’ respect, puff, puff, Respect-the-Moms of the World friendly line of kiddie-wear?

…wait…not even congratulate Susan Boyle for her sex-change?…her Vegas Golden Girl future headlining more White Tiger magic than Siegfried and Roy? susan-boyle-1985-785486

How is an Alien stuck in the body of a high all the time stripper aka me, Iti, supposed to satisfy her addiction for veinly disguised ancient universal wisdom proffered through cheap gossipy talk?      

answer: Find the Soul in my Spacesuit.

here goes…


If you are new to this chakra game:  You ask…What is a “Chakra”? and what it mean?…rockin’ a chakra?)  Go here to see what they wheely are, Google or Wiki it…)

Given the dearth of everything but MJ and Farrah, this June, and in honor of the new energy of this Solar Eclipse, shutting down an aspect of life no longer true for us…let The Alien clear your busy mind and invite in THE NEW GOOD!

This middle of the year eclipse is in Cancer, the sign ruled by the MOON, all about your feelings and your emotional programming, your sense of home, family and your sense of security.  Any wonder we are looking at Moonwalks by both MJ and Buzz Aldrin right now??  The influence of Cancer is coupled with the energy of Capricorn, the hardworking sign of personal authority and the Externalizer. This eclipse is the end of a cycle begun in 2001, so rejoice!   Forms and Ideas of your Past nonsensical and no longer helpful views of yourself will thankfully will END to be replaced with a new, shiny bright fearless and secure future.

The Alien takes a random look at some of her Earth icons, artists and the makeovers, mimicking, masquerades, moon-walking, media illusions, clowning, punking and mohawking celebritis engendered under this past June moon to perhaps inspire you to melt into that warm sun of possibility!          

More Golden Girls


1059014379_osquiz-liz The Sheer Will and Power Third Chakra and True Love Fourth Heart Chakra Prize Chakra Prizes go to Diana Ross and Elizabeth Taylor  Be it knownst, the Alien does not actually have The Michael Jackson fever, I am just capitalizing on it. I know, it’s unexplicable, rude and anti-human but it’s crushingly true, I am not a fan. He was an adorable performing child that hit adolescence and then became annoying. (I admit that I was an annoying young punk Alien as well, by instead pogo’ing to Scraping Foetus off the Wheel in bars located in clubs in far-away planets from here, but that’s another Life)

Nonetheless, my affection for golden icons is unwavering and The Big Golden Heart-Love Chakra response to MJ’s passing via of two of his devoted gal pals, Elizabeth Taylor and Diana Ross, this month made my skin nodules undulate for their integrity and grace and honoring of true friendship.

The Big Voice Fifth Chakra Rockin’ to photographer Dina Goldstein


On another fairy tale note….Moto Photo!  This one is entitled Beauty and The Beast from Dina’s series.  Careful readers will notice the similarity between this golden princess dress and the dress of Elizabeth making a wry commentary about The Beauty and The Beast and our fairy tale culture under which racism, self-loathing and idol worship produce some strange face-lift off-spring.  RIP NIP TUCK.  ouch.  Ya couldn’t just play Diana’s Love Child over and over again and be done with it?

Oh! the places where your icon-love mixed with self-hatred will take you!  The Alien begs the Earthlings to see your BIG PICTURE, all the possible emotional beauty, rare and precious that you can engender and invites you to play with it and own it!  This is true life-changing “plastic” surgery. demi moore mohawk

Couple Punk. Trouble Funk.

Oh come on now! With all possible things two sexy Earthlings can do together! Ashton Kutcher punk’d Demi in a Twitter pic “Celebriti Shocker” causing a buzz about the Reality of the shot and what exactly these two celebritis do in their spare time.  He also published shots of her from behind in her skivvies making one wonder what the punk point is…(I guess I am getting my knockin’ chakra fix in here anyway!)

What is this need to “shock” and get the masses riled up for emptiness?  Any different than slogan-filled war-mongering? dina goldstein 1

The Big Third Eye Wisdom Sixth Chakra Prize to Dina again

The Alien says question everything you see.  Words seduce, images mesmerize. A picture may be entirely fabricated by a government or by your own mind.  Can the G.I. Jane’s of the world make some sense of the duality, the conflict, the wars, the fighting?  

Here’s the recipe for The Alien’s idea of a Make-Over in a Minute.  Be a Warrior. Take the light of the solar eclipse, shine a light on the past paths and struggles of your families and icons, recognizing that we can give up the fight.  Take up only the ideas that set you free like a weapon and “strive forward building a whole new and a unique future secure in the knowledge that the war is over.” (from: Astrosymmetry blog)

That’s smart Nowness.

The Fame and Glory Seventh Chakra and The Star Power Eighth Chakra Prize to Buzz Aldrin

buzz aldrin moonwalk Michael Jackson’s moonwalk?  Do not even get me started!  Here is a moonwalk that The Alien cares to rant much more about.  The hottest post on is the debate…was the Moon walk faked?  From the improbable shadows to a waving flag on a windless space rock, I can tell you absolutely from my moon-induced, moon-cycle, moon-programmed PMS ranting state that the Moon is just a floating emotional computer laptop for the Earth.  If a girl is parked on this Earth, she’s in The Program.  If Earthmen actually parked themselves on the Moon, what can they show for it?  Just asking. In fact, asks how many people even remember the Moonwalk…not many.

Buzz Aldrin: The Rapper Astronaut’s new book, “Magnificent Desolation” has him traipsing the lunar surface and careening over the Earth with his battle with depression and alcoholism after his return because no one knew who he was.  Now with people questioning whether the moon walk ever happened what will he do? How can he see himself properly?  At least his book is out.

The Ninth Big Star, Beyond “Really…It’s All About Me” Chakra Prize to El Sole Mio,The Original Golden Girl

So close those cute, darling Earthling eyes and look inside at the glow.  Peaceful right?  No plastic surgery necessary, no white-out, no war, no pranks, no punks.  No Stuck in the Middle. New Moon, New Day Dawning.

Go Forth Kids…You Wanna Be Startin’ Somethin’…

the sun


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